Smile

“There is no beautifier of complexion, or form, or behavior, like the wish to scatter joy and not pain around us.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

JOY. What makes your spirit smile? Are you experiencing at least one instance of pure joy every day? Do you regularly share acts of kindness?

It’s been said that pleasure is in the body, happiness is in the mind, and joy is in the heart. Both pleasure and happiness are fleeting. Joy, on the other hand, is a fruit of the Spirit – a deep-in-the-soul feeling. It is a state of gratitude and appreciation reflecting your relationship to your Self, the world, and your Greater Source. Cultivating joy is a spiritual practice. Its companions are faith and love. Together they form the axis of the ancient Wheel of Life, and are anchors in the Power Living Practice. As the cycles of change happen, the ability to tap into these essential states of being allow you to fully enjoy the triumphs and patiently endure the trials.

A few years ago, I attended a laughter meditation workshop in New York. For two and a half hours, I reclined on the floor and laughed. Some may look at that as a waste of time and money. At the start, I was wondering what craziness had gotten into me to participate in such a frivolous activity when I had so many other things to do. However, it was a ton of fun to let loose deep, belly laughs that actually toned my abdominal muscles and relaxed my nervous system. In the end, I realized that I had been taking things way too seriously. It was a delight to simply let go. In letting go, I found true control and pure joy. The ability to be open allowed me to feel free and just be.

The quest for immediate gratification, which is so prevalent in our society, can inhibit the feeling of true joy. We often go for the quick “feel-good” fix – fast food, the latest gadget, a shot of botox. This brings on a shallow view of life and a reliance on external items to simulate a temporary high. Sometimes it takes knowing great sorrow to realize the true joy that is already present. As Khalil Gibran said: “…joy and sorrow are inseparable… together they come and when one sits alone with you… remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.” He also said: “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?”

I remember when I was in the hospital battling Crohn’s. It was a cold and lonely place. At one point, the doctors were contemplating putting in a feeding tube since my body kept rejecting food. There were already IVs in both arms to pump in medicine and lipids (imagine having fat poured directly into you). In trying to remain optimistic, I wrote down a list of what I called “Little Treasures.” I kept it in my journal, and referred to it when I needed a smile or a taste of hope. When you’re stripped down to your core, the little things begin to matter in a really big way. Staring at those dreary walls, unable to eat or sleep, I reviewed what I held dear:

My mother’s voice.
The thought of my father.
A Scrabble game with Daniel (my nephew).
A chat with an old friend.
A walk in the park.
The taste of fresh fruit.
The warmth of a hug.
Sunlight on my skin.
The smell of ocean air.
The smell of the rain.
A kiss on the forehead.
A long, hot bath.
The wag of a dog’s tail.
A full, deep belly laugh.
A family dinner.
A picnic for two.
Holding hands.
A movie date.

Now years later, being thankful for good health, I look at the simplicity of these items. There were no things, only experiences. The list was really about connecting with the Universe and feeling the Divine – in nature, in people, in sense perception. Holding this list close has helped me remain present with life and celebrate the moments.

Every day you can choose to take a positive or a negative view; to live in darkness, or actively seek rays of light. Make a habit of rejoicing. Honor your own successes and enjoy others good fortune. Give yourself permission to experience joy even in the midst of illness or crisis. If someone is negative or attacking you find a way to respond with compassion instead of firing back. As the Dalai Lama says: “…give with radiance on your face.” Offer selfless service. Release your joy every day and it will come back to you in amazing ways. And, most of all, be the source of your own joy; don’t wait for something or someone to provide it. Be a witness to life. See the miracles all around you. Delight in the subtle. Feel the presence of the sacred. Give thanks for everything. As Thich Nhat Hanh said: “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”

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